Le Hotel

Le Hotel is a French Colonial compound oozing with old school early 20th century European chic. Think Palm trees and white verandahs, gazebos overlooking immaculate green that trims the edges of a water carpet. On the sides of the carpet are deck chairs and over sized descendants of the colonial masters themselves in their striped costumes and beer bellies.

I don't get it though. Why would you go back to an EX (you know she is not yours anymore, plus you know how messy it can get!) if you can get the same back home? You don't have to travel, pack or get a visa to get "colonial charm", your mother-in-law back home is "colonial charm".

Ah, but le secret of this sophisticated and complex behaviour is : It's cheaper.

DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG... (thank you SISQO) Plus you get to play big boy and gloat over your success in infusing "culture" into a civilization that could have been damned and lost in "uncivillized" political ideals. Sacre Bleu!

Rantings aside:

1. The weather is beautiful.. Sipping Japanese Green Tea on a French verandah in 22 degrees weather with beautiful Vietnamese women calling you "Madame" and eating pancakes is calming.

2. The hotel is beautiful... I love my room very retro French boudoir. Red roses. Black and white ceiling to floor panels. Wooden floors, deep bathtub, vanity mirrors.. NICE. Very Dita Von Tesse, burlesque..

Still miss home.

Giant hamsters on a wheel: Hanoi

Turn Turn Turn Turn, And as the Seasons Turn Turn Turn. The big wheel will keep on turning and we are all punters at the Roulette table. Where will that stinky ball land? And who's plot? On his lucky number? Suckers, we are. Ball watchers, like the Liverpool's defence (ok, so that's a bit low). What I am driving at is the fact that 80% of the time (I overquote Pareto's principle, for those who know me), we are but spectators, playing passive roles in our own Lives.

______ take a minute to think about it_______

If you have been proactive, I congratulate you. You are however, most probably, single, hungry and plunged head first into your career or yourself, i.e you don't have any stakeholders. Good stuff, those were the days.. Free as a bird... No holds barred.. No accountability to anyone but yourself. Your time is for you and for no one else. Complete control. Sounds good doesn't it?

To some nodding their heads of course it sounds good, because it means letting go of any if not all responsibilities you might have for anyone or everyone you have a stake in or obligation to. Family, friends (the suicidal depressed ones esp), lovers, fiends, freeloaders, charitable organizations, the SDP...

Imagine letting go, not having to pick up calls, explaining, recounting, justifying, organizing, logistic handling....

________Take a minute to visualize_ yup_____visualize________

Liberating? No noise? Quiet...... Your life, once filled with all these voices, faces, temperaments, moods and personalities wil be QUIET...

Now why would you want that?

Through the drudgery and possibility of eternal strife and conflict lies a more powerful after effect, emotional bond. It's the kind that keeps and reminds you that you are a living being. Stagnation, indifference, switching off will not make you more whole. It will just make you what you are not. It helps you zone out which is good when your emotional and intellectual state is needed in another area, for instance, work, but it numbs you from all other experiences and causes you to shy away from alot of stuff.

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past months or so. Never have I had experience emotions so varied that it threatens, almost always, to tear you apart in different directions. My mind has been conflicted with the heart and often the senses do not response to the routines I had been used to before. Yet, I cannot remember being more alive, vulnerable, valued or human than I am today.

If I could put all the sensations and emotions into a bottle, I would..

Not to throw away of course, but to share them with you. So that you too may feel alive..

Giant hamsters on a wheel my friend,
Giant hamsters on a wheel...

Up and down and Up and Down

Rollercoaster ride. Up and down. Up and down. And then I forgot my password. It was supposed to be a lengthy blog entry but time and sim boey managed to erode the words. So this is all that is left, for now. "Rollercoaster ride. Up and down. Up and down."