antszeiyertee

Im anxious. worrying over the things i can not control and believing that sleep deprivation will make me a greater participant in the grand scheme of things. What things? ah, the usual.. questions that we ask ourselve on a daily basis.. the kind that hits you mid-shower and you start biting nails and smoothing your brows. "Is life going to be like this? is this it?" "where's the kaboom?" "life sure sucks.. why can't it be easier?" and you fret when you realise that it could be as sucky or worse, suckier. So we have said "sucky" and pouted like the 12 year old brats we really are.. what then?

im anxious. Over not being good enough. knowing that the evaluation process and ultimate decision as to whether i have enough self worth and value addedness rest in the palms of the powerful few. A small and elite class of people, who probably went through the same thought rantings like im doing now, long ago, and now, in the comforts of their leather upholstered Porsche Carerras are grinning in the soothing moonbeams of nostalgia.

IM anxious. really. can't sleep and can't think straight. i need good sleep. to be soothed before bed and then wake up the next day feeling bright as a daisy and refreshed. but first i got to get these eyelids to close.. then perhaps..