Anatomy of a he-she union for life

I finally met Izzy and the wife yesterday. She was in town for the next 2 weeks or so to get her pilates instructor accredition. He was in town for the weekend to upkeep the nuptial bliss. I got to know Izzy under work circumstances, but since we were peers, we hit it off from the word, "Go". So when he told me invited me to the wedding, I was happy for him as a friend rather than a work acquaintance.

Izzy had known his wife for years. He had been in London finishing up his degree while she was back home. And through that 4 years or so they had their fair share of trial and tribulations, crazy IDD bills, time differences and of course, temptation. I remember him proudly telling me that he never did once stray and had stayed commited. Now, this was a serious and important declaration, knowing that Izzy wears the "Casanova" label like a badge of honour with his sleazy Cheshire smile. But at the end of the day, he's all talk. Which in some "women talk" term classifies as "harmless". He does tell me tongue-in-cheek ( i hope) that he had missed countless opportunities to score with the ladies when he was a student. To salvage his male ego and rep, I pooh poohed him and told him what a great boyfriend he was.

I picked up Izzy and the wife outside their hotel and was glad to see him. Had missed his wedding and had not seen him in almost a year. I decided to take them to the beach for a little chat away from crazy weekend traffic and pre CNY shoppers in town. And of course, over dirnks at the beach, he laments over the lack of "hot babes" and that the waitresses at the beach are not serving them up in skimpy bikinis. When I finally sat him down and the wife was beyond earshot we talked honestly:

Me: So, how is married life?
Izzy: Ok, one or two arguments here and there, but nothing too serious.

I thought I would have a revelation at this point, but his answers were jaded and with the increasing visibility of post nuptials tummy, I figured that he meant what he said and married life was a walk in the park or "been there done that" for him to really indulge me.

Me: I saw your honeymoon pictures! The Maldives are awesome!
Izzy: Yeah it was. You had to go to the main island before you bumped into other people. You could shower naked.
Me: We all shower naked.
Izzy: Yeah, but shower naked in the open.
Me: Was that the selling point? Go to the Maldives so you can shower naked in the open?
Izzy: No, but it was that private and exclusive.
Me: You know, you could still do it at home. But knowing you, you would be self conscious.
Izzy: I would think people would enjoy the view.
Me: I'm sure they do, especially the part when the police take you and your "gayung mandi" away.

The wife was nice. She was meeting me for the first time. And knowing Izzy and his borderline "Casanova" personality, I was an enemy until proven otherwise.(I always believe, when it comes to women, we are all enemies until proven otherwise, which is why we are ever so bitchy. Even with life long friends, we lapse out of the enemies, friends, bff, mortal nemesis.. ever so often. Men are the opposite. They don't care much about rivalry because penises are tucked away in pants and out of sight. I bet you that if those things whipped out, they'd be bitchy mcbitchy too.)

So I had to diffuse the women tension first. And in the end it was nice and breezy.

Anyway, the point of my post was to dissect and go deeper into different classes of relationships to understand the dynamics of the he-she union for life and the case for and against it.I like to look at differences of opinions, because they are all the more obvious.Information gathered from Izzy and wife:

1. Izzy is contented. I guess the reason for him marrying was because he was ready.
Ready: Been working for 4 years or so, with little financial or family obligations.His closest friends have also taken the plunge. So might as well.He has got the moo-lah. So even if the wife is not working, he can fully support her.And of course, they were in love.

Izzy is a man with a plan. He wants to be married for 2 years before having kids at 29. And then he wants his Porsche at 35. So it's marrying at 27, kids at 29 and Porsche at 35.

Is that it? The he-she union is part of plan? Maybe he has not opened up to me in terms of the "soulmate", "she is the air that i breathe" part of the union. But looking at the interactions, it is more of a "this is the most comfy part of the sofa" vs. "i had been looking around for ages and i finally found the one".

I observed that they had differences in what I felt was fundamental to a marriage.1. She preferred living on their own. And they did have a house ready for them, but Izzy having being sucked in the evil world of finance and money (as I am already) thought it would make more investment sense to rent it out. So they are living with his parents. Plus, everything would be well taken care of. She isn't the chores type and would rather they get a maid, than her having to do the laundry, clean up..etc.

I think, at the end of the day, Izzy is a typical Malay Hang Tuah type. You know, I provide for the wife, (buy her a car, maintain her lifestyle, etc) and she stays and play house. While she is more of the "If you want someone to keep the house clean, get a maid."

What I am getting at is, I thought it is only when you have resolved or on the way to resolve such differences that you decide to slug it out for life. If you found out after marriage that he would rather you play house than work, that might change the dynamics of the marriage, don't you think?