Jack be nimble, Jack be quick..

I was about to tender my resignation, citing fatigue, a lack of willingness to be "all that I can be" and being too chicken shit about being able to take it as it comes and excel. I was tired. I have been distracted (definitely a boy lah..) over the past 7 months or so. So much so that my performance according to the paymasters have gone from "star" "best performer in the region" to "chugging along". You know the toy engine train that you buy at the neighbourhood toy shop which they keep beside the pink bows and arrows? Imagine that and damn cheapo AA batteries.

Damn I run on cheap batteries.. (chug chug chug toot toot)

Anyway, it was a rainy Wednesday and after settling all the administration for my expenses, I decided to tender. In the company, the buzz is one hour out. You go to HR, tell them you want to leave, then few phone calls and interviews later you're out, never to be seen again. Hardly any fuss. If you are expecting going out with a bang and pantry goodies, think again... the way things are done, it's more like a sigh then a BANG!

My eye was on the clock 0820. I got up and saw that the office was more quiet than usual. Rainy weather usually delays. Great. My TL was not in the office yet. Great. Gives me time to say my goodbyes to my other colleagues in the other depts. Great. Walked over to the other side of the office with gumption. Great. My TL was at the door shaking himself dry after being caught in the rain. Yikes. He asked where I was off to so early in the morning. Yikes. I pointed towards an imaginary department in the office. Dumb. I felt like smashing my head with the many vases in the office.

Stopped by to say my goodbyes to my ex-TL. Damn drama. Walked over to HR but she was on the phone. Damn anxious.

Me: (In a Tweety Bird voice) Hi, I'm here to tender my resignation..
HR: You? Are you resigning today?
Me: (Clutching my handbag, feeling like a Samsui woman waiting to go on board a junk to Nanyang) Yeah...
HR: Have you written your letter?
Me: (Panicking) Huh? We need to write a letter? What kind of letter? Who do we address it to? A letter on paper? Printed? Using the company's printer? (At this point I can see the junk pulling away from the harbour, I waved vigorously for the junk to stop with my hanky)
HR: Does your TL or manager know? Who is your TL?
Me: (I said my TL's name) Errr... Let me write the letter and get back to you later.

So much for hassle free. I then decided to take the time to be calm and say my goodbyes through remote communication to my kakis in Sydney, HK and of Singapore. I wrote an email to both my TL and manager and placed my trigger finger on the "Send" button. Time check 0920.

At 1835, I was given a 2 week leave of absence for me to get some "clarity" and to temper my decision with rationale.

It was the longest "one hour" of my life.

Going back to work on Thursday. Has "clarity" bestowed upon me it's crystal luminance? All I know is that I am in a comfortable postion. Read as: My lazy ass likes to sleep in and have breakfast at 2pm.

Has the longest "one hour" of your life happened yet?