Something good

And you ask if it is something good. Whether or not without it you would be in a lesser position. Whether or not without it you would not be whole. Whether or not without it you would be less than happy. So you observe, mannerisms, tone, attitude, behaviour. And you take notes, scribble them on that mental notebook of yours, see dark bold letters form hideous words like "not interested" or "self-absorbed" and "self centred" and you regret it almost immediately because you know the person could have been trying. And you blush not so immediately after that when you realize that their attempts at trying may not ever be enough and it would only embarass them to have to bend over backwards, juggle emotions and sensitivities in one hand and hold yours in the other, only to realize that they have been playing to a sympathetic audience. And sympathy is pathetic.

It takes so little but it takes so much. Do you get what i mean? Talking in the abstract may either paint me as someone whose thoughts run deep or someone who has no idea what she is talking about.

Sorry about the dreary entry.. yes, to all of my 4 readers... mornings tend to do that to me. Must be the bad night. I woke up at 4 in the morning after a nightmare. THE SUPERNATURAL KIND. Those who are close to me would know that im chicken shit in the dark. I sleep with the TV on. I have slept in the dark less than 5 times in my life. Go ahead, mock me. To all psychoanalysts out there, go ahead, write your own theories. But the dark scares me to death.

So i had a nightmare about driving with my family. I was making a turn when i heard my sister say something about feeling a presence in the car. And i could feel it too. It felt a "forcefield" and it was scary. When i looked at the rearview mirror i saw a figure clutching my sister's neck. SO i panicked and i swerved. The car pulled to a stop by the side of the road and i rushed to the back seat screaming for my father to say some prayers to dispel the spirit. That was basically it. But when i awoke, i couldn't sleep. Usually i call someone up. But this time, i didn't have anyone i could call. So i went to my sister's room to sleep and watch soccer for a bit.

The End

What a lame ass entry... *sigh* today is not a good day