The floorball match

Three periods later and there i was, eyes stinging from the mixture of sweat and sunblock, legs sprawled over planks of parquet, my mood as saggy as my socks. I hate losing. Firstly, winners always look better after a game. Secondly, i never seem to understand the meaning of participating in the "Spirit of The Game" unless it meant that the winner gets to command the Grim Reaper or the Devil himself to claim the souls of those fallen.

It was my first match. And since the first impression matters most, i made sure that chick's face was planted firmly against my armpits when she collided with me. I hate the part when the fianl whistle blows and all of your efforts come to zilch because you are hauled back to reality only to realize that the cheer was for the opposite team and not yours, because no one really cheers for the losing team, unles of course, they brought their mothers/girlfriends/pyscho random spectators along.

And then there is that cheesy, sniggering/camraderie/"spirit of the game" shit where you have to form a line and congratulate the winning team and shake hands and stuff. What's up with that? A more civilized, legitimate, "pie in your face sista" kinda ritual? i know they'll probably go like, "hey! you played well! Good game!" and shit but in their heads they will be like, "You suck, go back to Bukit Timah you media whores!" and besides i fear physical intimacies and handshakes with sweaty strangers might trigger random acts of terrorism.

I couldn't look them in the eye while i shook hands because i wouldn't want to chance upon that glint of joy/gloat and try putting my fist down their throats. So i just look down at their feet, let my bangs cover my face and go for psycho muttering under the breath exchange of niceties. So they go like, "Thanks for the game," and i go like, "Fuck you bitch!" or "I'll beat your ass next time." I get away with my un-sportsmanlike behaviour because the whole procedure takes like 20 seconds since everyone rushes through it so they get a cubicle to shower in later; plus i do a perfect Dustin Hoffman Rain Man kinda thing so they leave me alone fearing i would bite them and give them rabies.

I'm such a sore loser.